Chapter 6 - The Need For Intimacy
Everything discussed in the previous chapter can be largely summed up as a need for intimacy. An environment of intimacy agrees and works in harmony with the physiological design of our body. Intimacy is also what takes you where you need to be mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for sex and birth to be enjoyable and safe.
Intimacy is not just a physical act, nor is it relevant only in sexual context. It’s also a state of mind and condition of the heart. The fact that we, as women, are such suckers for romance proves this! I mean, c’mon. We all know that the best sex doesn’t start in the bedroom. It starts with largely non physical things, like his romancing of you, which he can only do well by really knowing you and what is meaningful to you personally. That’s a huge part of the intimacy that leads to great sex.
Sex should be the fruit of intimacy, an expression of inner intimacy that has already occurred beforehand between two people. If sex is the sole and entire extent of your understanding of intimacy, you’ve merely scratched the surface. Inner intimacy has to do with knowing and being known. A deep knowing and understanding between two people is what makes their sex genuinely meaningful. Interestingly, the King James Bible translates accounts of sex as, “He knew his wife.”
Our deeply rooted need for intimacy is actually a desire to be fully known and fully loved for who we really are, which is one of the most pleasurable, deeply satisfying things in this life. There are some places in you that can never be touched or visited without intimacy. This is why Eden was a place of pleasure, because God and man had true intimacy, with nothing causing separation between them.
