8 Years

Today is the 8th anniversary of the very first birth I ever attended. I thought it would be fitting to share one of the big lessons I learned with that birth that has continued to prove true through the years.

This was mama's 2nd vaginal birth after 3 c-sections. She had been told her pelvis was too small to deliver vaginally and she'd always have to have repeat c-sections, leaving her to feel like her body had failed. Finally, after research, reading one of Ina May Gaskin's books, and finding a provider who would support her, she tried for her first VBAC in a hospital. Success!! Turned out her body was capable, and just needed to be supported and believed in.

We initially met at a women's event I was co-hosting when she was pregnant with baby #5. She had been praying about where and who to have this baby with, and was convinced it was a divine connection when I began telling her about my midwife I had used with Rhema. Long story short, that's exactly who she went with.

In Texas at the time, once a mom reached 42 weeks, the midwife was required by law to consult with a doctor in order to continue care. Even though the doctor our midwife referred to when needed was probably the best one in the whole metroplex, as mama approached the deadline there was a considerable amount of anxiety that tried to creep in. She was becoming concerned that they would require induction in the hospital which would quickly go south and lead to another c-section. Everything with mom and baby looked good, so this was purely a time issue--namely, people's discomfort with a baby deciding when they are ready to come if it's outside of the time range they are used to.

April 11th was a Tuesday in 2017. Mama was scheduled to go see the doctor at the hospital that morning. The day before, she called me for advice and encouragement. We cried together and prayed together. She later told me that evening in the shower she finally just let go and surrendered everything to the Lord with many, many tears. Wouldn't you know it, that very night she went into labor! The next morning, right around the time she would have been meeting with the doctor, at 43 weeks gestation, she welcomed her baby girl into her arms in the birth tub at the birth center, just as she had dreamed of doing! It was an amazingly smooth and relatively easy birth--what our midwife called a "butter birth". 😄 Also, the overwhelming consensus was that this was most likely not a 43 week baby, as she was not really showing signs of a "late" baby. However, since that was what was on paper, that's what they had to go with.

So what's the big lesson? There is so much power in letting go and surrender. It brings a release of sorts that can often even be the catalyst to kickstarting labor, as well as overcoming "blocks" while in labor. Emotional and spiritual release can cause a physical release. The spirit, soul, and body are all so intricately interwoven in labor and birth, which is why one can so drastically affect the other.

Whenever I teach moms about the physiology of birth I always talk about what the brain and body need in order to "take over" the process of birth. To keep it brief here, one major key is that we need more disengagement from the thinking, reasoning, analyzing area of our brain so that the area of the brain that governs birth is able to be more fully engaged. These are not the same areas of the brain! Whenever we are thinking too deeply, worrying, etc., it makes it difficult for the brain to do birth. In other words, we have to get out of our heads. Surrender, or letting go, helps us do that. (You can learn more about this in my book.)

There's often a moment, sometimes even in early labor or before labor begins, when moms may feel very emotional, even if it's just because the enormity of what is happening hits them. What's interesting is that when this is released it's almost like a reset, because afterwards things often quickly start picking up and it's like the body can now focus on the work of labor.

One thing I'd remind you of is that although labor and birth do require surrender in order to work as efficiently as possible, we do need to ask what we are surrendering to. Surrender doesn't mean having a passive mindset of "Whatever will be, will be." It does not mean that anything, everything, or everyone must be surrendered to. While in a sense it is letting go of control, it's only within the bounds of what we know is God's will and best for us, and truly trusting Him to be faithful to His word, giving us the grace to do the job, and bringing us and our babies through safe and sound in the truest sense of those words.

Here's to 8 years! 🥂