There Are Answers & Light in the Wake of This Week's Events

In some ways, I hesitated to write this. There are already millions of voices weighing in, and it can begin to just feel like a lot of noise. On the other hand, a chorus of millions is probably the appropriate, and needed, response. As a friend said, it should cause us to pause and reflect. If it doesn't, perhaps we are already too desensitized.

If it doesn't cause us to pause and reflect, perhaps we're already too desensitized.

For many of us, we are processing how to apply the lessons we're learning from this to our own lives, circles, platforms, and areas of influence. We don't want it to just be a temporary buzz that creates a momentary stir, only for those lessons to be soon forgotten and things to return to the status quo that has been prevalent for too long.

Everyone, no matter what field they're in, is faced to some degree with some of the same issues that recent events have highlighted. Things like hate, a lack of value for life, dehumanization, no love for truth, and really, the actions these things drive people to. I think it can be summed up in: the love of many has grown cold.

For me, I see it largely, although of course not only, in birth work. I do think birth work is unique in that it involves what we love most: our babies/children, which is our family. Like I mentioned, while we can face similar issues no matter what our field, people probably don't get as worked up over a candle business as something like the births and safety of their children. The birth world can easily feel quite vicious and hostile when people start disagreeing on issues. I'm sure many of you have witnessed this.

So much can be said, but for now I just want to share a few main points that have been on my heart.

First, we have to learn to disagree without hating each other. If we really believe that diversity is good and necessary, why would we become so angry and hateful when someone thinks differently than we do? I have long believed that diversity (not the world's definition of it), variety, and difference are ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. Creation itself proves it. In fact, God has created such mind-boggling diversity, uniqueness, and individuality (think snowflakes and fingerprints), that I question how anyone could think we need more than we've already got. Like, the two genders that do exist already have so many differences that most don't even know how to handle that, let alone if there were more than two.

Unity is not the same message as conformity. Conformity ends in captivity. Oneness does not equate to sameness. A Native American minister once told us, "Unity cannot exist where there is no difference." That has stuck with me.

Think in musical terms. Harmony does not exist without a difference in notes sung or played.

If two of us are alike, one of us is unnecessary.

So, sameness is never the answer. That brings us back to learning how to be different from one another without attacking, hating, or condemning each other.

Why do we do that anyway? Because when we have strong beliefs and convictions, which lead to strong feelings, we become very passionate, and because we are so 100% convinced that what we believe is right--it's so real and vivid to us--it can be very difficult to grasp or accept that someone else who thinks differently could also be right.

Let me be clear. I'm not saying truth is subjective or can be whatever you want it to be. I'm not talking about heaven or hell issues that clearly violate the Scripture. For example, if someone says there are other ways than through Jesus to get to Heaven, that's not just a difference of opinion or theology. It's a violation of truth, and I don't have to accept that it could be true for you because after all, "we all have different revelation" or "we just see things differently, and we can both still be right". Absolutely not.

However, if you read Romans 14 (where I've been somewhat camping this week), you realize that yes, there can be cases of extreme differences in convictions and beliefs where neither party is wrong. Our responsibility is to quit judging each other over these differences, to walk in love, and to understand that we all answer to God and JESUS IS TO BE LORD OVER ALL, NOT ANOTHER PERSON. I highly recommend you go read Romans 14, in multiple translations, because it is so packed and layered with wisdom and direction, especially in a time like this.

Does that mean the answer is to not have strong beliefs and convictions? No. In fact, verse 5 of Romans 14 says, "Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind." (emphasis mine) It doesn't say to abandon or change what you believe for the sake of so-called peace or agreement, but rather shows us how to navigate having those strong convictions while at the same time remaining in love and truth and faith.

Charlie Kirk exemplified that.

See, without strong beliefs and convictions, we lose our passion, and life becomes very life-less. It's like a part of us dies. However, when we become fixated on that one of us has to be right and one of us has to be wrong, OR if someone truly is wrong (because truth is truth) and we then begin to step out of love toward them, what happens is the very passion that brought you life is turned into hate that brings death.

We MUST speak the truth in love, but just because you're speaking the truth, doesn't automatically mean you are speaking it in love. We must be diligent to check our heart's motives, even in the good and right things we do and say.

Finally (for now), we must learn to be angry without sinning (Ephesians 4:26). Anger could be a part of the passion that fuels us for good if we would learn to handle and direct it correctly.

I am very passionate (I have strong beliefs and convictions) about laboring women being fiercely loved, fully heard, selflessly served, cherished, respected, retaining full autonomy and freedom of choice, and experiencing love, comfort, peace and joy in birth at a level they didn't even think was possible. Just ask my husband how the passion rises when I get home from a birth where that didn't happen like it should have. There are tears, feelings of frustration, and yes, anger. BUT. Always BUT. If I allow the anger to become hate, I become just like those who I feel moms need protection from. They would then need to be protected from me. It is a constant choice to forgive and ask God to help me BE DIFFERENT. The answer is not to lessen the passion or compromise my beliefs so that I can avoid the discomfort it may bring.

It's love that never fails. Truth without love fails. We cannot muster up this love on our own. What we can come up with could never be enough to cover a multitude of sins. It must be the love of God that has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Let Love Himself, and a revelation of how He first loved us while we were still sinners, be what guides you through the next days, weeks, and years.

Don't lose your passion, and don't let your love fade or grow cold.